Warning: There are bouts of cynicism injected into this blog entry not normally associated with my more generally cheery disposition. I was really exhausted when I scribbled this into my notebook and was feeling overwhelmed with the shear size of the Atlanta airport which is gargantuan and of course there was much excitement about going home but at the time, I could not muster up the energy to use it for good instead of sarcasm.
It's not even 10am (Eastern Time) and already the strangest thing happened. The hard landing of a 737 at Atlanta's Hartfield-Jackson Airport abruptly woke me from my slumber. This was rather jarring as I was enjoying my right to a languid slumber. The combination of a violent thunderstorm while making an attempt at some badly needed shut-eye in my San Antonio roof terrace apartment as well as the anticipation of a 4:15AM CAB ride to the airport really did me in. (Especially the latter.) I was overcome with anxiety about missing my first flight home to Florida in approximately 14 months. I certainly couldn't disappoint my parents by being the son who slept through his alarm. No sir.
But having caught the flight, my iPod blissfully distracted me from all these troubles. I was home free (literally) and could pass out - no worries. Oddly enough, when the sensation of wheels finding the runway wrestled me from such pleasure, Steve Miller Band's song Jetairliner was playing on my iPod's shuffle setting. I guess the only song more appropriate would have been Stairway to Heaven. But perhaps that's inaccurate. Stairway is really more of a take-off tune, than a landing song. Still, with over 3200 songs on my iPod to choose from on random, you have to admit that Jetairliner is quite a bizarre coincidence.
The Atlanta Airport is disturbingly HUGE! It's impossible to comprehend, really. And by looking at all the faces of other travelers in line at Au Bon Pain, one could ascertain that the rest of America agrees. I think it's kind of cute the way they make you take a train between terminals, as if to say, "Don't worry that your connecting flight's gate is over a mile away. YOU CAN TAKE THE TRAIN THERE!!! Thank you for choosing Delta."
If I had been in my right mind or had a far less generous mother then I probably would have done what I normally do which is to avoid the Atlanta airport at all cost and used Southwest. However, I am fortunate enough to have a mother who couldn't wait for her son to be able to afford airfare himself, so she bestowed me with her rarely used frequent flyer miles. This, of course, was extremely nice of her. And although I am gracious, the fact that I sit here within sight of three TCBY's under one roof leads me to wonder if the offer was a way to avoid the ATL airport herself?
I'm only kidding mom. I know that it was more likely a ploy to remind me why I never started smoking. Those smoking lounges are pretty useful for this purpose. For those of you travelers savvy enough to avoid ATL, there are these glass walled-off prisons littered about the terminals. Mothers can bring their children to gawk at the folks with a particularly unhealthy habit and witness the horrors of needing that regular fix from behind a glass storefront. The unfortunate souls who dare use these "lounges" look pretty unenthusiastic at being segregated. I'm glad there is glass between us because I think they can sense me quietly judging them. I swear one of them is looking at me as though they want to rip my fresh, untainted lungs from my chest as a trophy to mount on their prison wall.
If there is anything better than observing future passengers romp about the airport, it's taking notice of how many people work to serve them. There are a hell of a lot of airport employees. I'm not talking about the pilots, flight attendants, or the folks out on the runway with the wavy light sticks. I mean - that woman behind the counter over at Hudson News stand, the kids at Sbarro, and the guys at those weird shoe shining booths that I don't think I have EVER seen being used. It's so weird to think that in any job search, one would consider working at the airport Starbucks over a stand-alone Starbucks, well, just about anywhere else. When you think about it there has GOT to be a more convenient Starbucks to work at. To deal with airport parking as part of your job must be a special kind of hell. Additionally - do these employees have to walk through airport security five days a week??? Or ten - if God Forbid they leave the airport for lunch? Don't get me wrong. I am super appreciative that they make this daily sacrifice to serve my needs. After all, what would this wait have been like without that bagel and matching issue of the New York Times? I've just never really considered before what it all means - thank you dear airport sales people.
There is another passenger lying asleep on the floor across the aisle of seating from me at my gate. I'd say he has the right idea, except that he is snoring loudly. His girlfriend (or sister - it's unclear) keeps making eye contact with me and rolling them. I can tell she's really embarrassed, but not enough to move elsewhere temporarily. I keep trying to suggest with my eyes not to feel so ashamed. I'm using my iPod. I can easily pretend I don't hear the roar of his breath. So I do. I hope it makes her feel better. She looks in a panic. If only she had an iPod.
I still have another two hours before my flight to Miami begins boarding. You heard me. I said Miami. Why in the world , you ask, would I be flying into Miami - quite possibly the busiest and most chaotic airport in all the land 40 minutes away - when there is a perfectly airport in Ft. Lauderdale, just five minutes North from my mom's house in Hollywood? Apparently it's Spring Break. Oh yeah. And Frequent Flyer miles are really hard to use during Spring Break during such a time of massive flocking to sunny South Florida.
Having spent a great deal of my life - especially during college when Spring Break really mattered - in my home state, it's worth noting that I have never had to fly to South Florida during Spring Break before. I had always already been there.
So, I had to take what I could get and fly on a Tuesday. To Miami. None of that really matters because I'm now officially on SPRING BREAK and my parents love me enough to come pick me up!
