Yesterday at work everything was just fine. The sun was shining. The birds were chirping. I was wearing flip-flops and playing with puppets as per my job description. No worries - like I said just fine.
And as I thought how could anything possibly go wrong on a day like this in a life so wonderful...the unexpected occurred.
The Assistant Manager came to me and said, "Ben, Rosie (our Boss) and I would like to have a word with you."
Uh oh. What did I do now?
"Have a seat Ben," she said with a devious smile clearly hiding whatever it was I had done wrong.
"What can I do for you, Ladies?"
"Well, we know this is kind of a sensitive issue and all but we have to talk to you about something." Now, when I was hired under a month ago circa Memorial Day, I told Rosie that I was feeling self-conscious but not for any of the standard reasons like low self-esteem or accidentally wearing a brown belt with black shoes. Actually about that same week I had come to the conclusion that "The Crystal Stick" - what had been my chosen chemical-free deodorant - was simply not working in this soupy climate. So I decided then to purchase a new herbal stick that was on sale at Whole Foods. I told Rosie that I hoped it was working. She said she didn't sense anything offensive, so I assumed the best and went on with work.
Apparently, my underarm radiance hasn't been maintaining it's blue cypress/tea tree-scented magnificence!!!! "We're sorry Ben, we understand your strong feelings about chemical deodorants, but whatever you're using just is not working."
HOW LONG HAS THIS BEEN GOING ON AND NO ONE HAS SAID ANYTHING?? Damn. I could be pretty embarrassed about this. However, I choose instead to find it quite funny. Quite funny indeed.